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Thursday, 08 January 2009

Expectations

I know her, you know her, we all know her. Shes that good girl. The one with pure morals, nice to everyone, real, and shes always there for you. She would do anything for anyone.
What happens when that girl starts to grow up? Do you still hold those expectations to her? Or do you accept the change?
My friend chose to throw away a six year friendship. That would make someone think that this girl did something drastic, right? Shes almost 21 years old and invited him to a party on New Years. Now mind you, they aren't seeing each other, they're just good friends, even though hes always wanted something more. She was there with her boyfriend anyways. Well suddenly the next day hes no longer talking to her and has decided to delete her off of Facebook and MySpace.
She goes crazy wondering what she did because she cannot remember things that she said or did. She knows most of her night and her friends have filled her in on everything, everything except the conversation she had with this guy. She truly values this friendship and holds him at the top of her list of great friends.
A little background on this guy. He does drugs. He dropped out of high school, and got his GED when he was 20. He finally got his drivers license about a half year after. He overdosed on cough syrup which put him in the hospital and hes been on and off of drugs for a few years, not being able to quit completely.
She keeps texting him and finally seven days after new years he tells her, "We have nothing to talk about, I don't even know you anymore." She almost started crying but had to hold it together because she was at work.
Tell me why he has the right to judge her? Sure he has these expectations and yes she has changed a little bit. Shes actually having fun and goes to parties every now and then while still keeping good grades and working. I place myself in his shoes, and I think that if I were him and I saw a friend making changes that I didn't like, I would talk to him or her. I wouldn't just peace out on six year friendship because suddenly a friend has decided to drink and didn't start till she was 19. To me, thats a goal in itself to not give into the peer pressures of high school with drinking and doing drugs, which he did himself.
So tell me this, who is in the wrong? Who is being the bad friend or bad person at that? What makes it okay for any person to hold such standards for someone else when they don't even live by those standards?
Exactly.

Wednesday, 07 January 2009

A Woman's Role In Society

What is a woman's role in society?
Who has the right to define such a role?

A woman defines her own role in society. Not another woman, not history, not her family, and not her church. At least in America that is. The reason why a woman defines her own role is because she is the one who makes that final decision on what her role is by acting out on it.

A girl tried to tell me "Oprah is allowed to work" because Oprah doesn't have kids. Really? So when did Oprah get the permission form signed off by you telling her that she is allowed to be the amazing woman that she is today? Exactly, you didn't.

Its true, a woman's role in society has definitely changed over time. Women used to be only housewives in whom they took care of their husband, the kids, cleaned, and cooked. Even when their husbands cheated on them, they would just turn their head and still stay married.

We're in the 21st century. Women can vote. Women can receive the same education as a man. Women can work. Women can make a difference in society more so then before. Instead of having a positive impact on just their children and being the support system for their husbands, women have the ability to impact everyone.

Here is a simple one, think about all the teachers in our school system, how many of them are women? Most of them, right? Can you imagine what just our schools would be like if every woman that wasn't single quit their job to take care of their children and support their husband? That's a lot less teachers.

That same girl told me that a woman who works and is married with children is turning her back on her role as a mother, and a wife. She believes that people divorce because women have jobs. I have yet to see the statistics on that one. I know that people are more opt to divorce if they have premarital sex, if they live together before marriage, and, here is a big one . . . the younger they are the more opt to divorce as well.

As I've stated before, we're in the 21st century. You need two paychecks coming in to raise a family, especially if you want to send your children to college. Think about all the working women out there, politicians, nurses, doctors, lawyers, judges, crime scene analysts, fashion designers, professors, etc. What if they all just quit their jobs to go home and tend to their children and husband?

Tell me this. If a woman's role in society is not her decision, and its already pre-planned out to a set schedule of children, house, husband and sex, then what is the point of women going to school, or even voting for that matter? What if a woman decided to do just that and her husband died one day or left her? She's left screwed unless he was a millionaire leaving her money or she was paid alimony.

I am a feminist. Oops did I really admit to that? You're damn right. I am a woman and I am a college student. I have dreams. I want to work. I want to make a difference in this world. So I, as a female, am going to define my own role in society. If you don't accept it that's fine, I don't need your stamp of approval.

Some women I admire that you should Google if you don't know about them yet.
- Audrey Hepburn
- Eleanor Roosevelt
- Natalie Portman
- Miss USA 2008 Crystle Stewart

By the way, I'm finishing up this great book. It's called, The Bitch In the House. It's written by 26 women and was edited by Cathi Hanauer. Each woman shares her story about working, being a mother, marriage, sex, and solitude. Expect a book review by the end of this semester. :]